Semi-Insane Trade-Ins on Gen 1 iPad @ Target

ConfusionI believe the correct recycling/decommission strategy for used electronics[0] is to dump them in a landfill, with or without puppies, kittens and baby unicorns thrown in for good measure. Smashing them[1] in a driveway with a ball-peen hammer before hitting the landfill is optional, but do know that it’s the only method proven to secure legacy data on such devices (short of encasing it in the material bowling balls are made of).

Unfortunately my worldview is being challenged today after I just traded in a gen 1 iPad for $200 (not a typo – two hundred) and my iPhone 4S for $160 (ed. correction $145) as part of an absurdly high-ROI tech trade-in promo running at Target’s “mobile”-enabled locations. Check the link to find one near you, assuming you live in the first world. Said promo runs through 11/9 (Saturday), and it only applies if you do it in-store (the same iPad I got $200 for in-store would have only fetched ~$60 had I done it through Target’s web page). Lastly, try not to be discouraged by message board comments indicating this trade-in value is only good towards a new iPhone/iPad Air purchase @ Target — I had the Target gift cards in hand @ $145+$200+$7[2] prior to my decision to turn around and go back in to get the 5S.

Considering that Apple is selling new iPad Minis for said $200+$100, this is a little absurd (in a “good” way?) and clearly confirms the first gen iPads are filled with the radioactive stuff they use to assassinate political dissidents, journalists and expired spies in Russia. You have cancer? Sorry, you waived your right to the class-action lawsuit when you touched the Target gift card… If that’s not the case, it’s just more evidence that I don’t understand how business actually works and that it’s OK for me to continuing drawing squares on whiteboards for the remainder of my career.Screenshot 2013-11-05 18.24.28

$200 gen1 AT&T iPad credit + $160 iPhone 4S AT&T credit minus $180 (also promo) iPhone 5S 16GB AT&T minus $100 AppleCare for said 5S = I still had enough Target store credit to buy a frozen pizza, some pumpkin granola (Kelley) and a new puffy thing to wash off my filth in the shower.

The deal is so crazy Kelley is actually considering trading in her 4S which TargetMobileGuy said he’d give us $100 for (MyPoorLove:”… even though it’s still new”; me: It’s out of the box and it has a fingerprint on it == it’s trash).



I need to think about this as I’m nearly in a panic considering what else I shouldn’t smash and throw away given this new intelligence. I’ve put a temporary pause on my plans for a month-old Oral B electric toothbrush head, my nightstand and our furnace.

[0] used in this case meaning “used with no actual, high-value, non-anachronistic, potentially dedicated purpose”; a dedicated gen 1 iPad for the bathroom is still an iPad that won’t run the last two major iOS releases, i.e. it is less functional to me than the output of the reason I am in the bathroom

[1] the baby animals and the electronics

[2] turned in a iPhone 3G as well, for yucks

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What We Do Is Secret

Screen Shot 2013-09-13 at 8.53.19 PMWatched What We Do Is Secret, a drama-umentary about L.A. American hardcore band the Germs.

6/10 stars. The actors and overall production are way too pretty for the subject matter, but Shane West effectively channels Darby Crash, which is  the critical element. Hardcore fans will appreciate it, although if pressed for time the Decline of Western Civilization is  more rewarding. On NetFlix.

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Vacation’s over

New day risingOne year away from the blog. Maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling out of sorts the last 365. New day rising.

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Wasted: M.C.A. aka Adam Yauch

47. Too young. At least he changed the world.

Above see an image of the Dalai Lama consulting with Mikhail Gorbachev Hutt.

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Day of the Dead SciFi Stijl


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Experience the 2012 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony, blow-by-blow, this weekend via:!/futurerocklgnds

and of course…!/fibrechannel

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Wasted: Jim Marshall

Fortunately unavailable, or would have added to cart.

I’ll have to get this instead.

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The end of the innocence.

College ended, and the horrors of adult life began. It’s possible all the time since then has been a Jacob’s Ladder-style fade out, or has taken place in an alternate reality. These were the albums that defined that transition:

  1. Radiohead – OK Computer
  2. Beck – Odelay
  3. Weezer – Pinkerton
  4. Garbage – Version 2.0
  5. Oasis – Be Here Now
  6. Catherine Wheel – Happy Days
  7. Afghan Whigs – Black Love
  8. Foo Fighters – self-titled
  9. Luna – Pup Tent
  10. Air – Moon Safari
  11. American Music Club – Engine
  12. Roni Size / Reprazent – New Forms
  13. Wu-Tang Clan – Wu-Tang Forever

Of those, Moon Safari and that Foo Fighters album are the only ones I can listen now to without looking back in anger.

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And we’re back.


Yeah, we had some issues with Bluehost, and we fired each other simultaneously. I’m sure we’re both happier and more well-adjusted for it.

Unfortunately while I have a database backup of the old blog before I nuked it from orbit, I didn’t have the presence of mind to do an actual WordPress export.

So right now I can’t say if the old content will ever return.

There’s something to be said for new beginnings.

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